
I first want to apologize for my long absence from writing, and I want to thank my wonderful blogging family/friends who have been gently (and patiently) trying to encourage me to write again! I see you, and I appreciate you more than you know!
Where Have I Been?
My absence has been the result of three things merging. First is that I have been particularly focused on my aging 20-year-old cat who is in the later stages of kidney disease. She wants to spend enormous amounts of time with me, and I want to give her that time (which has kept me away from my computer quite a bit!). Second is that I have been struggling with writer’s block for several months! I have started a number of blog posts that I have not finished, and I have had lots of thoughts circulating about what to write about, but have not been able to do so when I have the opportunity to write. So, the absence of postings has not been due to a lack of trying! And finally, I have been struggling with where I want to take my blog. I am a deeply metaphysical/philosophical person, and there are many thoughts I have wanted to share, but I have worried (perhaps a bit too much) about how that information would be received, and whether it would be misunderstood. But I think I am gradually (hopefully) coming out of my writing slump, and coming to a better understanding of how I want to write and how I want to share information that I feel is important for me to share. But first, let me just say that everything I am writing in this and future blog posts, is an effort of mine to share my ongoing thoughts with you, and should never be seen as an attempt to push any beliefs on anyone, or to force any specific way of thinking. I hate being told what to believe, and so I don’t want to be doing that to anyone else, either. And if I seem passionate about an idea I am expressing, it is because it has deep meaning for me – and that is why I am sharing it. If it does not have some resonance for you, that is OK. (smile) Every human being has free will! So here I am, taking a stab at my first blog post for the year 2026 (a little later than I had initially planned to)!
My Thoughts About Our Place in the Current Moment
I consider this moment of our lives that we are currently witnessing and living through, to be very, very important! I can’t stress that enough! Each of us, I believe, are part of a great transformation that is taking place within humanity and the planet, and we are not here by accident! Each of us is a unique key which is unlocking an important piece of that transformation through our individually complex and informed perspectives, and if we look back at our lives, we will see how each experience we have had, has prepared us for this moment. Because of what our life has shown us, how it has made us feel, how our experience has been colored by a variety of events woven through family, friends, pets, work, gains, losses, happy and sad moments, and so on, we have an opportunity to unlock insights into what is occurring right now, and why. We may not realize it right away, but if we look backwards at who we have been, and who we are now, we will see a pattern of growth that has been taking us to this very moment. And the realization of that is our superpower! Because it is in that recognition of just how much our life experience has prepared us for a world that has been rapidly changing, that we may find the answer to why we are here right now, and what role we may be playing or may be needed for.
What Do We Want?
Our minds and hearts are very powerful. When I began to understand this, I began to realize how important it is to think, feel and act in ways that create what we truly want. What has worried me the most, is where so many of us are placing our attention these days. What we focus on, we empower. Goodhearted people do not want to see others suffer, and so we often make the mistake of spending all of our time focusing on the suffering, and on those causing it. This is what I did for a long period of my life. And I came to realize that this may be the wrong approach.
If we don’t want suffering in the world, we need to constantly envision a more respectful world living in peace and harmony. If we don’t want cruel people having power over us, we need to stop focusing on them and what’s wrong with them, and instead focus on the types of people we truly want in our lives. It’s a distinction that is important to consider. It doesn’t mean hiding from reality or closing our eyes and refusing to see injustice or harm – in fact, I truly do believe that we have to see reality with our eyes wide open, and to not look away from where harm is being inflicted. But the point I am trying to make is that we are the creator of our reality, and if we dwell on something or someone too much, that is what remains with us – that is what we give our power to. What we focus on, becomes our world. So, the antidote to evilness or harm in the world, is not to give it power or energy by clinging to its reality (In other words, we can’t always dwell on the negative and expect good to arise from that). For me, I consciously address this in three ways: First, I see it (don’t refuse to see it), then I try to understand what imbalance it is attempting to reveal in order to bring us back into balance, and then I try to actively live in resonance with what I truly believe (so, for example, I will make a point of showing kindness where possible, rather than wishing harm on others I don’t agree with).
Examples of How Life Experiences Affect Us
So, I mentioned that our lives hold the key to why we are here. In my life, for example, I believe that my experiences were creating a deeper understanding of differences, so that I could walk through a time in my future, a time of extreme polarization (which is playing out now), and be adequately prepared to question that reality while also looking for solutions to move past it.
As an example, when I was very young and somewhat religious (religious enough to want to be a nun, despite not being Catholic, but not religious enough to want to be a part of any religious structure – so being a nun was also out of the question! Ha!), I kept asking myself why a Savior would be crucified, while criminals were set free. My answer, I think, has been delivered to me quite clearly, and with multiple examples, over the past 10 years. Now I absolutely understand how that happens (but it made no sense to me 50 years ago when I had an assumption that everyone could clearly see what is “good and bad” and make the “right” choices based on that shared understanding)! “Good and bad” are much greyer concepts now (as are “right” choices), and clearly, we do not all share the same understanding of anything, nor the same information! Realities can be quite different!
Another example is that I was born and raised in the South (southern US), yet traveled the world and most states in the US, and had multicultural parents, so I was exposed frequently to different ways of thinking, as well as to the different ways that people’s thoughts are influenced to move in certain ways. I grew up in the military in the 60’s (attended DOD schools which were very well integrated with kids from all types of backgrounds and cultures), later attended a military college in Texas in the 70’s and 80’s (which I can honestly say, looking back, was my first exposure to “MAGA” thinking and behavior), served in the military myself in the 80’s and 90’s, then pursued Graduate studies in the 90’s in Peace and Justice, which expanded my understanding of peace, the development of 1st and 3rd world countries and relationships, all forms of injustice (i.e., wealth, health, housing, food, security, race, gender, etc), then worked with homelessness, and finally, worked in all forms of higher education at a Community College in the 90’s and 2000’s. I was a gay person serving in the military during the time of “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” (though I did not know I was gay when I entered), did not “come out” as gay until years later, and was fortunate to be living in Massachusetts when gay marriage was legally recognized (which enabled me to marry the person I loved – which should be available to anyone!).
So, I have kind of seen life from all different angles, and the more I gradually understood difference through my own life experience, the harder it became for me to see things in the black and white way I used to see them.
The last time I remember seeing the world so black and white, was right after Trump became President the first time (in 2016 leading into 2017), and I was filled with anger – extreme anger! But shortly after that (perhaps a few months later), I started seeing things differently. And that mindset has only expanded since then! I could reflect on my life, and start to make connections. And that’s when I began to see that, perhaps, what can save us, is a change of perspective on what we focus on!
I still remain informed and current on every single (awful) thing happening in our country and the world, but I choose now, to see the differences as the result of differing experiences, exposures in life, cultural and religious differences, media influences, and so on. In other words, I do not see people as inherently evil or good anymore (though I certainly have moments of pain and sadness and even anger at what some are willing to do to others to inflict pain and suffering – and I do honestly have my moments of seeing certain people as pure evil, until I snap myself back out of it! Ha!). What I mostly see, instead, are people reacting to what they know or don’t know, and what they fear or have no control over. And this is why, somehow, we need to find ways of connecting with one another, and understanding how we arrived at our differences. We don’t have to welcome those we don’t like into our lives, but we do need to find some degree of common ground that we can relate to (human beings actually do have quite a lot in common, but don’t always realize it!). If we don’t seek that out, we will never change our world.
I will write about other experiences in more detail in future blog postings. For now, I hope this is a good start!
A Final Thought
I would ask that, if you can, try not to remain focused so much on how bad everything is around us (which I know is really hard!). Certainly, be aware of it (don’t look away or hide), but then try to see things from a different perspective. Understanding requires more than one viewpoint. Perhaps we are needing to witness our differences through new eyes (and through the eyes of others), and to experience the real difficulty in truly reconciling those differences which have been plaguing our country for 250 years or more. Perhaps seeing these difficulties being played out on a much larger scale and affecting all of us so personally, enables us to see our world more clearly, and to address deep wounds and problems more urgently and with greater understanding, than we had previously imagined was needed.
We also need to realize that the only thing we can change in this moment, is ourselves, as well as influence those things we have specific control over or access to (such as, for example, in our personal connections, in our communities or groups, through our donations, through our writing, through informing others with important facts and actions to take [as some bloggers – in fact, many of you reading this – are fantastic at doing!], or through protesting, or doing whatever is possible within our specific realm of influence).
We also have to let go of our need to change everything quickly and all at once, particularly because each moment may be teaching us about new and important things we had been unaware of, but that truly do need change and healing!
And finally, we need to let go of our desire to change everything by ourselves! We cannot change the world or country by ourselves alone. That is too overwhelming, it drains us, and it makes us unproductive and incapable to affecting real change. But collectively, with everyone doing what is possible for them to do in their own realm of influence, and with new eyes and new experiences illuminating what is truly needed, along with expanded hearts that have acquired a deeper understanding of the source of our differences, we can INDEED change our country together and become a more positive impact on our world!
A very precious share, Anita! To always bear in mind: “Each of us is a unique key which is unlocking an important piece of that transformation through our individually complex and informed perspectives.” Which, in a way, also emphasizes the importance of expressing them. We can’t truly control who will like your blogs or not, but we will also will never know how many people we touched through our unique expressions. Our part is to share them, especially if that comes from a place of benevolence and it keeps us alive. Looking forward to more of your thoughts and letting you know that your devotion to your 20-year-old companion is truly touching. We are a blessing in each other’s lives, and often I feel that whatever I do for them will always fall short compared to all that they have given to me. I believe you relate to these words. With deep appreciation, sending light and blessings to you and your beloved cat, my friend! 💖🙏✨🐈
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Thank you so much for your kind and touching comments, Susana! They really mean a great deal to me, my friend! You also touched on the one thing I have been thinking about so much over these past few months……that it is important to find our voice and share our thoughts with others (something that is not always easy for this introvert! Ha!)! Also, I so appreciate your kind comments regarding my cat! She is very resilient, and I believe has been living through her 9 lives over this past year! She’s a rescue that has been with us since the pandemic started, and I am certain I will be creating a blog post about her in the future! And yes, I completely relate to your description that “whatever we do for them, will always fall short compared to all that they have given us!” Being in the presence of cats is most certainly my greatest joy in life, and this one cat, in particular, is a true blessing (and I am so happy she is still with us!!)! Thank you, again, Susana! Sending light and blessings to you, in return, my friend!
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Being in the presence of a cat is to be in the presence of a master! In every sense of the word! I just love them, and of course those who I have/had the privilege to live with take the most space in my heart. Grateful for you always, my friend! 🙏✨💖🌻 (and I truly, deeply understand your “find our voice and share” as an introvert, because I am an introvert myself!)
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I completely agree that “Being in the presence of a cat is to be in the presence of a master!”! And I am not surprised that you, too, have a love for these very special Beings (and also that you, too, are an introvert!). These all go together quite well! (smile) There is a reason we gravitate to cats, and cats gravitate to us! (smile). Gratitude for you, as well, my friend! It is always such a joy to connect with someone through resonance! Big hug!
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First, let me say that I’m very happy to see you writing again! We’ve missed you!
This is an excellent and VERY thought-provoking post, my friend. You’ve given me much to think about, starting with the statement “If we don’t want cruel people having power over us, we need to stop focusing on them and what’s wrong with them, and instead focus on the types of people we truly want in our lives.” What you say makes sense, and sometimes it requires patience and an open mind to step back from what we think and the way we’ve been viewing circumstances and look at things through a fresh lens. As I said, you’ve provided MUCH food for thought in this post. Thank you!
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Thank you so much, Jill, for your very kind comments and encouragement! They mean a great deal to me! I get so much enjoyment, inspiration, and important information from reading the blog posts that you and others write so very well and share!! Perhaps we all keep each other going and engaged, and that is a very good thing to be in such great company! Thank you, again, my friend!
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Thank you, dear Anita! I think you are exactly right when you say that “we all keep each other going and engaged”. I take so much pleasure in the connections I’ve made, the friends — I feel like I have a whole new family, a blog family! Looking forward to seeing more posts when you feel like it!
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Thank you , Jill! And I couldn’t agree more with what you said about connections made and new friends and blog family! It’s an amazing group!!
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Yes it probably has not occurred to many of us that we are focussing on the worst people. On breakfast television they have a segment, ideas provided by viewers, featuring positive happenings. Today someone was telling me the local library had given her a task, to collect moments of kindness people had experienced and they are going to make a book.
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Wow … I like that idea, Janet! Let’s start putting more focus on the ‘good people’, the ones trying to make the world a little bit better place, and less on the fools who are trying to destroy the world. I really like that.
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I love the idea of collecting moments of kindness, and putting them into a book, Janet! Jill Dennison does a similar thing monthly with her blog. We definitely need to highlight the good more! Thanks so much for your kind comments, Janet.
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If there are ideas that are deeply meaningful to you, then I think it’s the best use of your blogging energy to post about those things, even if they are not what others want to hear. You’re better off posting what you’re passionate about and attracting an audience of fifty people who are interested in the same kind of ideas, than getting an audience of five hundred people by telling them what they want to hear rather than what you really wanted to say.
I also try to avoid focusing on the bad things that are going on. It is depressing and debilitating and serves no practical purpose. To do that, I try to read only items that are solution-focused — that is, rather than read a post that just moans and groans about the latest horrible thing Trump did, I’ll read one which focuses on what people are doing to resist that horrible thing. That way, one can stay equally well informed, yet avoid sinking into a paralyzing doom-and-gloom mode.
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Thank you so much, Infidel753, for your kind and thoughtful comments and advice! I appreciate you having taken the time to respond, and will definitely take your suggestions to heart! I should clarify that I have never written with the intent of telling people what I think they want to hear. My concern has been more about trying to navigate through such polarized times, and attempting to share information that may be helpful for others to hear or consider, without causing unintentional harm or judgement. It may be the result of my middle-child syndrome! Ha! But I very much appreciate and agree with what you said about writing about things that are meaningful to the writer! That’s so important! Thank you also for sharing how you are navigating these difficult times! We are definitely in agreement about not loosing ourselves totally to the negativity. And I actually think quite a lot of people are also coming to this understanding, as well. Thanks so much for your comments, my friend!
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True in many aspects. Or, rather, I agree with many things you say.
I keep thinking that we all need to see/look at the world differently. We are at a point in time when major changes are needed.
And for that, as in previous moments of History new, young leaders need to emerge. As in your (America’s) Revolution and ours (French) In the latter, the leaders who emerged 3-5 years after 1789, were totally unknown quantities…
And as I always say: I just wish they’d hurry up a tad. At my age, I haven’t got all day! 😉
Last but not least, I hope your cat is as well as can be. It is heart-breaking to see them suffer.
🙏🏻
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Thank you so much for your kind and thoughtful comments, Brian! I agree with you on all of the points you made (including the part where you said “I wish they’d hurry up a tad. At my age, I haven’t got all day!” Ha!)! And thank you so much for your sweet sentiments regarding my cat! As you know, they are such a huge part of the lives of those of us to share space with them! Incidentally, I have enjoyed following your blog, which I recently discovered! I definitely can relate to the excitement of seeing the world through a child’s eyes while living in another part of the world (for me it was living in Bermuda and exploring surrounding nature and caves and old forts and “haunted” locations), as well as your focus on ancestry and your family’s service in WWII. I am always amazed at how, when we all start to talk to each other (or follow blogs), we find out how similar our lives have been in different stages! Thanks so much again for your kind response to my post!
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Thank you Anita. Bermuda must have been very exciting. Land of pirates and buccaneers…
Happy weekend
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Anita, my friend—
I have finally begun—I say begun—to give this post the attention and thought it deserves. It is so rich in ideas—possibly the beginning of a memoir(?). I do think the combination of the metaphysical, the philosophical, and the common sense is an important opener for so many of us who are grappling with the strange times in which we find ourselves.
I add my good wishes that your beloved cat just keeps nestling in for as long as she can do so without suffering. Anyone who’s loved a fur baby (or feather baby or other) knows the intensity of that connection.
Your concept of each of us being here at this point with our particular life experiences is intriguing, and I must ponder that more.
As for accentuating the positive, there’s so much science and wisdom there. I am on a journey of exploration now to expand the mindfulness I’ve been practicing for years into more meaningful channels. I’ll be writing more about that as I progress.
For now, I’m most grateful that you’re posting more, and I hope you’ll free yourself of the concerns you mentioned that have held you back.
I, for one, would be happy to read about your daily routines with your kitty.
Warm regards,
Annie
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Annie, my friend….Thank you so much for such kind and supportive words! They touched my heart!
Memoir??? I’m not so sure about that, as I would probably have to make a lot of stuff up to sound interesting! Ha! I love what you said about the “combination of the metaphysical, the philosophical, and the common sense is an important opener for so many of us who are grappling with the strange times in which we find ourselves.” You captured what I am attempting to focus on! I think we all bring interesting perspectives to this crazy time, and I might just be crazy enough to bring even crazier perspectives to the conversation! Ha!
Thank you also, for your good wishes for my kitty Bubbles! I certainly won’t let her suffer, and thankfully she is not at that point, yet. I’ve been told by several Vets that they don’t actually feel pain from kidney disease, so the thing to look for is whether they start to have more bad days than good. She has not gotten there yet, though she worried me a few times over the past several months!
I love that you have been exploring mindfulness, and I am looking forward to what you are planning to write about!! I have not always “accentuated the positive”, but things happened that changed my entire outlook, and now it is more difficult for me to see things the way I used to for a large part of my life (20’s – 50’s)! I think I am actually seeing the world in my 60’s, more like I did from birth through late teens/early 20’s! That’s how strange a child I must have been! Ha!
Thanks again for your kind comments, my friend! They mean a lot!! Sending hugs!
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I have bookmarked this to read properly later when it’s not my dinner time. I think it’s always okay to take as long a break as you want with blogging. It’s good to welcome bloggers back again. Also write what you want, we all have the choice to read or not read if it’s not something we feel a connection to.
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Thank you for your supportive comments, Janet! All great suggestions and advice!
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Loved it.❤️
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Thank you so much for your kind words, Laleh! Hope you are doing well!
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My pleasure.❤️
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